Nohting

Weakness for a while, while Calvino

It’s is scary how things come back to you at once. I’m wondering around writing “Alice”, as musical, aswell as novel. There are some minutes I feel I won’t ever finish them - the process (greetings to Kafka and the Gatekeeper at Gates of Truth) takes me too much into itself, and it is too hard to see the light coming from something toward you.

By the way, the money: the technical question comes now much more powerful than ever - it is impossible for me to waste time for more; I’ve got to move, move, move.

Well, there is you, my creations, and the money, which stop me: they don’t give me a chance to complete creations the way I see.

I wonder, if I ever come to you - would you take me without my music, writings, works? That’s a hell of hope. But yet I have courage to go on.

Falsche Bewegung

There is a kitchen with bright-coloured walls, and while eating there chocolate with vanilla tea - bloody silly combo, and rather not a combo but a random - I’ve felt the solitude ain’t heavy no more. Pretty deceptive.

Today’s my brother’s birthday, he’s celebrating it with alco, friends and party elements - somehow it must be celebrated nowadays if you’re 23-years old young man with clearly directions in your life. I’ve felt some happiness cause of his mood, when I’ve heard his voice. That was the first step, I guess.

From other side, I’ve played some percussion today at place my band is playing. While drummer played point bass kick, I’ve made some weird, but absolutely rhythmic sounds, playing the walls with a pair of spare sticks. That’s the minute I’ve understood how I love music, even I had been in a doubt about that for last weeks.

The minute I’ve spoke to my brother gave another feeling. Next minute I’ve answered Yang, my partner from China, about business cases. Than the bloody silly combo, or maybe it all was in some other order. Anyhow, that’s how I’ve understood that everything is too simple. For one more time.

There are some minutes when lightness of being comes. I still don’t know why; and if I ever do - I’ll get one of the most important keys ever.

For sure, that’s cause of you, as always.